Being a mom is a tough job. Somedays you just wanna pull up the covers and not get out of bed. And if that little face wasn’t breathing in your ear you’d probably do just that! As a full-time job, moms would make a staggering $118,905. But here’s the kicker, we’d make an additional $70,107 to our annual salary to compensate for the 60 hours of housework a week we do on top of said full-time job. Even more for those late nights with sick kids, school projects and holiday events.
While kids are awesome lots of the time, lots of the time they aren’t. Lots of the time life is hard. I think it’s okay to say that without everyone immediately thinking I don’t appreciate my children. Cause, come on, it’s totally true. Some days you understand why moms in the wild eat their young. Other days you look at your kid and wish they’d stop growing up so fast cause you love them so much you can’t stand it. It’s a real roller-coaster of a ride. And sometimes, for this introverted, even keel mamma…. it bites.
The privacy shortage
Can a girl get some privacy in the bathroom? Can I dressed without someone walking in?
Why I do it anyway: Teaching kids’ privacy too early leaves a scar of insecurity about their bodies. One I struggle with myself. Letting them walk in on me changing and not slinking away teaches them to not be ashamed. Now. To work on personal consideration… cause there is definitely a fine line here to be addressed.
You know what I am talking about. 5 loads of laundry a day, in a large capacity washer, is too much! Spilled paint, grass stains, toothpaste globs, mud, chicken poo, stinky dog, sweat from the pre-puberty tween, wet towels left on the floor smelling moldy… “Uh, you wiped up what?? *hang head* Just throw MY FACE washcloth in the washer, honey, it’s fine, I’ll wash it.”
On top of that, there are hand towels, throw rugs, blankets, sheets, pillow cases, kitty beds, doggy blankets, slip covers, couch covers…. oh yeah, then mine. Last.
Why I do it anyway: I like clean. And I secretly enjoy the look of horror on biggest’s face when she sees how much she has to put away. Not that this helps her choose wisely the next week, mind you.
Take everything above and apply it to the kitchen- jelly globs, mocha powder on the counter AND floor, banana peels, granola wrappers. Add in that kids need to eat all throughout the day…. What? You need lunch? You want me to COOK lunch? Sure, just pile those pans on top, please.
Why I do it anyway: If it wasn’t for all those messes, they’d never learn attention to detail when cleaning. And they’ll need that. For when they have kids.
The pickup factor
Shoes, toys, socks, books, crumbs, water cups… this list is truly endless and always includes much weirder items than that. Why are the laundry dryer balls on the counter? Who put a half eaten granola in the couch cushion!? Why is the open mayonnaise jar in the cabinet? Can we just keep things clean for longer than 10 minutes?
Why I do it anyway: Did I mention I like clean? And I don’t want the dogs to die of chocolate toxic shock.
The natural disaster effect
It’s a really strange phenomenon. Kids enter the clean room. Play while I write this post. Then leave like a tornado has run through the room. Toys, dolls, clothes… everywhere. And somewhere on the bottom of that pile is something ants come by the droves for.
Why I do it anyway: I like clean? I’m starting to not like clean at this point. BUT there is this thing called fire safety in our house. It’s a great keyword to shout out when no other words exist for the complete awe that overtakes you at the mess these little people have created in a mere 28 minutes. Mine know to immediately clear the floor in case of an emergency.
The loss of freedom and self
Often-uh, every day, my time is spent making my children and their world a better place, teaching them how to do that for themselves, and then doing the normal parental things like clean your room or die in a fire. This also means I loose myself. I am not me. I am a mom. All. The. Time. Middle of the night house calls was not in the job description. Or I may have been too tired to read that bit of fine print…
Why I do it anyway: If you know me, then you know that I sincerely desire to raise emotionally well rounded strong women. One day I will be relying on one of them to take care of me, I better do a good job on at least ONE. It’s super important to me that they learn how to do things well, how to express themselves, and how to be a kind human being while doing said things. One day, they will be on their own and there are just certain things I don’t want them learning alone. At the very least, I will be sending them out to the world with a solid foundation of who they are so those lessons won’t be therapy worthy.
The interrupting cow
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow w– MOO! This, folks, is my life. Coincidental that this is a common kid joke.
Where’s my shoes? Under y- Nevermind! I found ’em under my bed!
Why I do it anyway: This is a perfect opportunity to teach my children the art of conversation. If you have ever tried to communicate with the top of someone’s head cause they don’t make eye contact… then you will someday appreciate my children’s ability to artfully hold a conversation. It kinda bites right now in this learning phase, truth be told.
The missing syndrome
Where’s my headphones, kids? I put them back! They aren’t here, sweets. Where did you put them? Where you had them, mom. They aren’t here, honey. Uh, sorry, mom, I dunno then. Maybe you moved them? You like to move stuff around… *facepalm*
Why I do it anyway: When my children return that book they borrowed from you – in pristine condition, you’ll get it. Until then, don’t share anything. They aren’t ready.
Oh, how this list could go on! But for now, tell me why your mom experience bites… I promise not to judge.